Leaning into Community

What I got out of listening to a company vice president and to two realtors was the importance of leaning in, not in the Cheryl Sanberg way, but in the physical, I really want to hear what you are saying way.

The Therapist and The Writer Walk Into a Bar

Being adopted is not for sissies, and most adoptees grow up with little or no guidance of any substantial use. Pam and I have spent our adult lives preparing to help others heal. It is what we do. It is what we love because it is so not one-sided. The healing is about community and relationship. It's about being there for each other. It's about showing up. It's about choosing life. 

Pam Cordano and I Write about the Price of Healing

Healing is being willing to set out into uncharted waters with a glimmer of faith that it will be worth it. That the Right People, a calmer nervous system, and sustainable joy are possible for all of us. If you’re stuck in pain and isolation, I hope you’ll gather your courage and begin. The world needs us.

Loving the Mother

Our lives are experiments. If we are to be defined by what we set to paper without the opportunity for revision and new understanding or growth, then writing is like carving words into a tombstone.

Why Won't My Kid Do His Homework?

My friend thinks of ways to get the boy excited about opportunity. If the boy studies, he can get into college. If he gets into college, he can be whatever he wants to be. You know. That kind of talk. The talk we give. The talk we heard.

An Adopted Person Decides to Live to 100

I realized something about myself in this past year of coming out of the fog, or, as Lesli Johnson recently said on the podcast Adoptees On, coming into the truth. I realized that if I can choose between two places to stick my face, a warm box of empty air or a heart-pounding bath of acid, more often than not, I’d pick the acid.

Running to/from The Hug

I love hugs. I was a serial dater for a while mostly for the hugs. This isn’t always the best trade, the promise of relationship for the rush of oxytocin I got from extended hugs. Oxytocin, the chemical that tells me Everything is okay; you are merging with another human; you are not alone; you are loved.