An Adoptee's Suicide Note

How can you live on the tracks of a life that feels really yours when you were derailed at the start? How can you spread roots when someone tore them out at the beginning and you keep tearing them out because it’s what you know?

How it Felt to Finish My Book

My friend Pam asked me how it felt to finish writing my book. Generally I say I finished my book when I left New York, but that isn’t exactly true. I say that because it’s easier than saying I was pretty much finished except that I didn’t have an ending. 

The Lightest Touch

It's not even Christmas, but I’m going to teach you my best move. I learned it in Boston a few years ago at a 4-day workshop for oncology massage led by Tracy Walton, but it has taken me all this time to really get it.


I can think about changing my life for decades. I can think about getting off the couch for hours. I want to learn how to go from static to flight at a moment’s notice, and so I watch the birds. I listen to all the reasons people have for not writing even though they say they want, more than almost anything, to write a book. I listen to the reasons why people don’t leave their marriages, their jobs, their book clubs, and it’s all starting to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. 


Later, this ability of his to listen would be medicine for me. It would let my body and mind know I was worthy of attention. It taught me to listen to others more closely. It taught me how important it is for adopted people--all people!!--to be able to talk out their full range of emotions and to feel they are valid. 

Oleg Lougheed Plays Write or Die and Lives

I am letting you into the secret world of Write or Die here. This is my cave, my favorite place, the place, to be honest, that I usually charge people to enter. But here you go. Here are the first three exercises I do in Write or Die and the reasons why. And here, thanks to Oleg’s courage and generosity and trust, are Oleg’s responses.

A Song of Love

I developed an exercise in my Write or Die classes where you imagine you have five minutes left to live and you have the sweetest presence by you—I picture it as an ear—something that can’t talk; something that just listens. It’s that voice, the voice I use to talk to that ear that is the voice of my soul, the voice of my spine, the voice of me. I have nothing left to lose when I use that voice. I am not speaking to win love. I am speaking to leave a handprint on the wall of the cave before I leave this mortal coil.

How To Figure Out Yourself and Your Life in Five Minutes

I listened to Ram Dass talk to Oprah today on her podcast, and so I have also been thinking about acceptance and love.

What if our hearts are peonies? What if life is not about changing or growing so much as about blooming? What if our hearts all bloomed fully when we looked into the eyes of our beloveds, or into the eyes of ourselves?

What then?

Why I Should Be Your Story Coach

Most editors or coaches or fellow writers will basically try to tell you what your own story is--rather than be a partner in helping you figure it out. I had a therapist tell me all her clients know their answers. It's just the therapist's job to pull them out. Anne's not a therapist. She's better. She costs less! She takes more time. And she's a helluva lot more committed.