Day 1 - Living the Glide
I learned some things in my 93-day project:
1. Keep it simple. Somewhere along the line I felt I had to change my life and the lives of everyone who was reading my blog. This led to my friend Pam Cordano, on day 95, telling me I was a colander, letting everything (experiences, people, money, feelings, poop) run through me, instead of being a container. Containers have boundaries. Containers hold things. It feels safer to be a container than to be a colander. Containers are their own universe. Colanders run dry.
In the effort of improving myself, I had lost sight of something very important: me.
2. HOWEVER: it was all worth it to get to that magical day at the end when Frosty Hesson took me out surfing so I could feel what it is like to be carried by a wave. I felt what he called the glide, what Frosty says is joy. He pushed me again and again into the glide and I saw that living can be like that, that the world carries us, and we may think we are helping by kicking and screaming and living in fear and reactivity or we can stay focused on our bodies in space and our goals and let the forces around us do what they do best: carry us home.
I decided today I'm going to live in gratitude for 93 days because it seems to me that this is the closest I can come to surfing life, to living the glide. I'm going to focus on what's right, what's beautiful, what feeds me. I'm going to see what happens when I go Dog Whisperer on my brain and train it to see joy instead of agitation or upset or fear. I am going to live like an Olympic athlete and train 24/7 as a Gratitude Explorer.
Normally sessions in a float tank run about $90-100 for an hour, at least here where I live in the Bay Area. I had my first float on the last day of my 93-day project, courtesy of my friend Carolyn, and it was the perfect way to end that extended workout. I was blissed out, and then we went to a bar and I had a lot of food and a margarita and was as high as a kite. It was so fun. Sitting at a bar with a dear friend, whether you are drinking water or tequila, is one form of heaven.
I started this second 93-day project with a float, and just as the experience had felt like the perfect conclusion, it also felt like the perfect beginning. At Equilibrium Float in Santa Cruz on Seabright, you can get an introductory rate of three floats for $99. Instead of pods as I had with my first float, here you step instead into what looks like a roomy, white bank vault. The same blue lights, the same soft music. And after a few minutes, the same stillness, the same darkness, the same quiet. The same shower time before and after. The same happiness.
Want to feel your body blissed out on magnesium? I am still floating, and I walked an hour home after I floated, went grocery shopping, ate a bunch of food, answered a bunch of texts, and still, I am floating.
While I was floating, my mind was restless, so I worked on self-massage. I found I had great access to my psoas, my neck, my shoulders, my neck, and did I mention my neck? The last time I floated I was much dreamier, but this time I mostly hunted for trigger points, little splashes as I bumped up against walls, pushed myself off, feeling like a star in a dark sky. Near the end I settled down and it was quiet and I was quiet and then the music softly started and the lights began to bright and I was happy because while floating is nice, being out in the world, for me, is even nicer. Learning that your float time is over is like permission to get up from a nap when you are a child. You are better for the nap, and you can't wait to get out of your room and see what you can do next.
Thank you, world, for the float.