Day 2 - Cojones
I have noticed that a lot of people both want to be seen and are afraid of being seen, and this can manifest itself in what they call writer's block. It's like wanting to get on the stage, but clinging to the curtain because you're just not sure how things are going to go once you start the dance or the song or the monologue. Very few people, I'm guessing, on their deathbed said, "I'm so glad I didn't go on that stage." Likewise, very few people, if any, say, "I'm so glad I didn't write that book."
Today I am grateful I have developed the guts to go for what I want. I'm grateful I wrote a book. I'm grateful I did this blog. I'm grateful I put up this meme today on social media even though I am saying look how wonderful I am. Look how amazing Pam and I are together. Look at me! I'm a meme. I'm so great. I'm better than great: with Pam I'm magical. Maybe I'm even magical without her!
But someone really said that about us, and if I don't tell other people, maybe someone who could have life changing moments at either one of our adoptee or our creativity retreats wouldn't feel compelled to attend. How can I sell a Snicker's Bar without telling you how delicious it is?
If my mother had deeply believed she was wonderful, my life would have been easier. I don't mean in a narcissistic way, I mean in an Oh, I love my life and my body and my family and you all so much. It's all so good kind of way. It's easier to love yourself when those around you love themselves, also. It's like playing tennis with people who know how to hit the ball. It's game on. It's fun time.
I'm grateful I get to spend the rest of my life telling you how great I think you are. We are bits of sunlight, celebrating source.